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04-Dec-2017 14:02

So, for example, when their team wins in a big sporting event, that can set off the temptation to reach out.

These occasions become opportunities to ensure that you haven’t been forgotten and to place yourself front and centre in their mind.

I get it and understand that you’re grieving and that you miss them, but this all goes back to validating the original reasons for doing NC and getting behind your decision.

It’s a totally normal part of the breakup to be reminded of your ex by certain things – this dissipates over time as long as you don’t use these memories to inflate meaning or your hurt.

Sometimes it’s not that you’re remembering, more that you’re experiencing the grief that comes with the hopes you had for being with them for this occasion (it might have been the first) not being realised.

The disappointment is understandable but part of grieving the loss of a relationship and respecting boundaries – both theirs and your own – is recognising that you can’t pick up the relationship or restart contact for occasions. Birthdays and various other occasions in the calendar don’t change. No Contact and if you choose to make contact for any of these reasons, there must be no underlying motive, which there rarely isn’t.


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These occasions can catch us off guard because they mark a passage of time that may highlight and even accentuate the differences between the present and where you were at that time the previous year.

Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

نمونه ادرار از زوجین به منظور شناسایی افرادی که ترکیبات تریاک را استعمال می‌کنند، گرفته می‌شود.

If they try it on with you, don’t tell them all about themselves but do just say, “I’m sorry for your loss and that you’re hurting. You’re supposed to be NC so you shouldn’t be hijacking anyway. It being their birthday is not a valid reason for breaking NC because it’s like trying to give yourself some sort of birthday present in the form of validation and possibly attempting to rekindle the relationship.

I wanted to let you know this but it doesn’t mean that I want to restart anything with you. Birthdays only last for one day but the effects of misplaced expectations and unhealthy habits last far longer. Avoid starting NC within a few days to a couple of weeks of their (or your) birthday because the likelihood is, you’ll reach out.

Start as you mean to go on because where does it all end with saluting them on each occasion? Feeling compelled to reach out on big occasions is code for looking for reasons to be in contact aka smoke signals.

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